UBC Day 27 - A Letter to a Brother

For today's blogging challenge, I have taken my inspiration from Write Tribe's post about 48 Commonly Mis-spelled words http://writetribe.com/48-commonly-misspelled-words/

I decided to use every word mentioned in the list in sequence to write this letter from an older brother to his delinquent younger brother. I seem to like that theme as my previous Idiom story had a similar idea with an older sister scolding her younger sister. http://cattitudeandgratitude.blogspot.ca/2014/07/ubc-day-19-black-sheep-of-family.html

I managed to squeeze in all 48 words and make a story out of it. PHEW!

Dear Josh,

I am sending you this email in hopes that you will accommodate me for a change. I know it’s a lot to ask, but I need to talk to you.

Don’t give me that Arctic chill like you always do, Little Brother. I know you’re so busy and all, but I’m sure your calendar isn’t that jam-packed.

I want to meet you at the park next to the cemetery. You know the place. Remember that night when Bob got knifed after you started that fight? I’m sure it’s not on your conscience anyhow. It’s not your style. You definitely aren’t the type to embarrass easily and don’t give a damn. Sometimes I wonder if you’re really conscious of how you treat people.

You don’t seem to worry about that kind of stuff much. I doubt you ponder deeper meanings like the purpose for our existence, do you? You’re too busy having a good time.

We’re so different. I like books and studying. You like drinking and having a good time. Even though we’re half brothers, we’re foreign to each other. I can never gauge you at all and never know what you’re thinking or feeling. 

Here’s a word of advice from your older brother. You might be good looking, but you have the worst grammar. I guarantee our old English teacher, Mrs. Judd would harass you if she ever heard the way you talk. 

Now that you’re 20 years old, you like to flaunt your height over me since you’re 6ft 5 and I’m only 5ft 8. 

You sure think you’re independent and have the world all figured out. I wish a doctor would inoculate you with some common sense and get you to smarten up.

It’s awful how you you’re always trying to liaison with the ladies and you act like life is one big party. How about thinking about your future for a change?

I heard about the police taking away your driver’s license when you had that accident and the brakes failed. I’m not surprised. You never do any maintenance on that piece of crap you drive. That car isn’t even from this millennium, is it? Oh well. Such a miniscule issue really. Taking away your car isn’t going to stop you from being mischievous and getting into trouble.

I heard you applied for a job at the pulp and paper plant again. Watch out you don’t misspell anything on the application form. I found a ton of mistakes when I helped you fill it out. Don’t you know spelling mistakes are so noticeable?

I heard about the occurrence last time when you made such a fool of yourself with Amy, the receptionist.  I do have to give you credit for perseverance though. Isn’t this the fifth time you’ve asked her out? If only you were like a playwright in possession of fancy words to woo her. I could help you since I’m the literary one in the family. Unfortunately your awful reputation preceding you doesn’t help and has given her a prejudice against you.

Just ask Principal Forget at our high school. He remembers how bad you were. He always told you it was a privilege to get an education but you never listened. You used to make fun of his awful English pronunciation right to his face. Remember that time he made you fill out that career questionnaire and you put down dumb answers just to make him mad?

Oh, by the way, I have some clothes that Mom bought for you. She said your wardrobe needs help and she still has receipt to return them if they don’t fit.

I’ll recommend you to Joe, the foreman since I know him, but I don’t know if you’d be happy working at the plant. I know you’re more used to the rhythm of the streets. It’s where you like to hang out. You and I lead such separate lives that I often can’t believe we’re related.

Remember five years ago at cadet camp how Sergeant Surti tried to order you around?  The fact she was a cute girl only made you act even worse. Then again, even when she was superseded by that mean Sgt. Smith with the bad breath, you were still impossible. I don’t know why Mom thought cadet camp would help discipline you. You were hopeless.

So that’s about it. I’m riding a stationary bike at the university while I’m typing this. You should try it. Much safer than driving your junky car.

Oh, by the way, Mom wants to know if you’ll come to the party for her and Sam next week. Can you believe it’s their twelfth anniversary already? That’s a lot longer than she lasted with our dads.

So meet me at the park tonight at 6. I’ll be waiting until you confirm if you can make it. Please don’t take forever to get back to me like you always do. I hate it when things are vague.

Rob