#MondayMusings Acceptance of Loss and Change






This cartoon certainly touched a nerve this morning and triggered an outpouring of emotion that has evolved into this blog post.


I sure miss my mom’s phone calls. That was our way of staying connected across the vast thousand mile distance between Ontario and Cape Breton. 


My mom just loved to talk on the phone with friends and family, especially during the last few years of her life when she wasn’t as active anymore. She would come out to the sunroom, sit in her favourite chair (sometimes with an orange cat in her lap) and phone people. She used to put on the speaker phone which I never liked, but she found it easier and my dad could listen in, too. I used to tell her I wasn't a phone person and that I preferred email and Facebook are since I express myself best in writing. 


What I wouldn't do for one of my mom’s phone calls now. Miss her every day. I'm adapting and going on, as one must do after losing a loved one, but life is definitely not the same. 


Life becomes that much more precious as we start to lose more people in our lives. Getting older means we will lose even more people as time goes on. We must learn to accept that so much is out of our control and we learn to go with the change just like a tree bending in a strong wind. 


We learn to appreciate simple things more. Material possessions aren’t quite as important and often seem to weigh us down. Who needs all this stuff? We only get to keep it for a short while anyhow. One day our kids will have to sort through our stuff and get rid of it.


Now I crave experiences and connections with people. Living with purpose, passion and creativity is my motto. I try to let go of regrets, guilt and negativity. I’m still working on that. It’s a day to day challenge.


Losing loved ones reminds of our own mortality and how we don’t have as much time as we think we do. The time to do is now. The time to act is now. Not some day.


My hope is that in my own small way, I can make the world a bit brighter through the things I create such as the words I write, the photos I take, the music I perform. Also I hope my connections with others are significant and I can touch their lives just as they touch mine.

I won’t change the world in a huge way but just enough to feel that my time on earth has meaning and that people will remember me after I’m gone.

Comments

  1. Cat, your post made me so aware of the passing time and the importance of spending every moment doing the best we can, being with people we love, for one day, it will all be over! How true you are! "Who needs all the materialistic stuff! We get to keep it for a short while anyhow!" True. Moments and memories with our people are more precious than stuff we will never need.

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    1. Thanks for your friendship, Shilpa. Appreciate the support. Hugs.

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  2. A good reminder that I should be better about giving my mom a call. I like to talk to her, but am time zone challenged...

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    1. Good idea to call her while you can. The time goes fast.

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  3. Sigh... I know what you mean. And I feel the pain too. Wanting to say but not being able to... fearing that Im missing out on precious moments.
    Need to make a change

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    1. Thanks for your comment, Roshan. I can see you understand how I'm feeling.

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  4. I send you all the love and hugs in the world, Cat and hold you in my heart as you grieve. I so get it when you say that we must let go of negativity. It helps nobody. None whatsoever. Life is fleeting and we must be kind to everyone, including ourselves.

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    1. Thanks, Shailaja. So true about being kind to ourselves as well as others. Thanks for the support.

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  5. Believe it or not, when I shared this photo on Facebook this morning, I thought of your comment on one of my posts. Hugs, Cat.I am sorry you miss your Mom. Treasure the memories. Feel at peace knowing she's watching over you. That's what I do when I miss my Mom, which is way too often. Sending you love!

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    1. Thanks, Vidya. Hugs to you, too. Amazing how that small poster triggered all this emotion, eh? Funny how that works. Thanks for your kind words and support.

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  6. I hear you. Thankfully my mom is still around, but my father passed away when I was 25. Sometimes I imagine how different life would be if he was still around, but it is what it is. You never get over the loss of a parent, but loss leads to perspective.

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    1. Thanks for your comment, Crystal. My, losing your dad when you were 25 must have been very hard. You are right about the loss leading to perspective. It sure makes you more appreciative and more determined to make the most of each day.

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  7. Thank you for sharing your wisdom with us, Cat. Through her love your mom gave you as a gift to the world, and you brighten all of our lives with your great heart and being. Much love to you. <3

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    1. Thanks for those kind words, obh! Very sweet of you.

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  8. I'm not a phone person either. I can't figure out why we pay so much for a land line - except maybe to be able to dial 911. I don't have a cell phone but hubby and the boys do Your words are full of truth! Sorry for your loss.

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    1. Thanks for your comment, Yolanda. I agree about the landline. Way too expensive along with having a cell phone. I'd ditch both if I could! I'm an online Facebook and email type gal! Thanks for dropping by.

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  9. I share your sentiment - I want to make a difference in a way people will remember.
    Sorry you can't speak to your mother anymore.

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    1. Thanks so much for your kind words, Alex. Appreciate you stopping by on my blog.

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  10. Hugs, Cat. I can relate to the sentiment and I too hope people remember the good times they've had with me, after I'm gone.
    Sorry for your loss; it's something that we have to learn to live with. Takes time to heal though.

    Sending you Lots of hugs and love

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    1. Thanks for the compassion, Sid. Appreciate the kind words and wisdom.

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  11. I'm so sorry you can no longer talk to your mom on the phone...but you can talk to her nonetheless because she's always with you in spirit. My parents live over a thousand miles away and my mom and I talk every single day on the phone. I'm so grateful to have them here with me now. I talked them into spending the winter with me and I treasure every single minute we have together.
    Thanks for sharing.

    Michele at Angels Bark

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    1. That's great to have your parents near, Michele. I do worry about my dad along a thousand miles away but he's coping as best he can and we do talk on the phone and online. Thanks for commenting.

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  12. I better go call my mom.

    My grandmother used to love to talk on the phone. Or at the table over a cup of coffee. I'd love to have one of those chats again.

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    1. Me, too, Elizabeth. I miss my mom and my grandmother who died in 2002. The memories are warm and wonderful but I still feel sad for my mom as it is still recent. I am adapting more each day though as there isn't much choice. Thanks for commenting.

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  13. I understand how you feel. My mother's been gone for twenty years, and I still have the urge to pick up the phone and call her.

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    1. Funny how that is, isn't it, Susan? Often I will see something and think, my mom would love that. Wish I could tell her about it but unfortunately I can't anymore. Thanks for your comment.

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  14. I relate to your post so much! I used to talk to my mother nearly every morning and then after she died there was this big empty space. I don't call people like I used to, but I probably should.

    We each can contribute to make the world a better place. Even small things can make a big difference.

    Arlee Bird
    A to Z Challenge Co-host
    Tossing It Out

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    1. Thanks for your comment and compassion, Arlee. Much appreciated. I agree about the big empty space. It's the silence that gets to me. She was like a link in the chain to who I am and the link has been broken. It's taking a while to define who I am without her. Not easy.

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  15. Love and hugs dear Cat! We must cherish, appreciate and be grateful to the memories, the moments, the connections with our loved ones. Just a few days back my Dad gave us quite a scare and I felt so helpless being miles away from them. Yet I am grateful that we can speak each day on phone. We need to make our time count.
    I'm sorry for your loss and I know it has been tough on you. Hugs! Time will heal.

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    1. Thanks for the compassion and support, Aditi. Much appreciated. Hope your dad is doing better. It is hard being far away. I worry about my dad who is a thousand miles away all on his own but he seems to be managing.

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  16. Oh dear Cat- sending you biiiig hugs... Its so true - life is here and now, and we all need to be reminded of it from time to time. Not postpone things, but live life now, enjoy the moments. lots of love my sweet friend

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    1. Hugs to you, too, Eli. Thanks. Yes, we need to enjoy and appreciate each day. It goes by fast.

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  17. Hugs, Cat. I am sorry for your loss. There is a lot that I can relate to. I have said the same exact things to people - that I am better on Facebook and social media, over phone and face - to -face. This post has given me some food for thought. Thanks for sharing. :)

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    1. Thanks so much, ST. Appreciate you commenting and glad the post gave you food for thought. Thanks for stopping by.

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