As an introvert, I find I prefer writing as my medium for communicating as it allows me to pause and collect my thoughts. I can delete and rewrite things that are unclear or sound stupid.
Thank goodness for email and Facebook. They have given me another outlet for communication which I can embrace. Also I’m more of a visual person so that’s another part of the appeal.
I’ve never enjoyed the phone as it often makes me feel tense and put on the spot, the same way I feel if confronted with a large group of talkative, extroverted people. Plus once it’s out there, it’s out there. You can’t retract the words. I often resist phoning people unless there is no other option. I much prefer to shoot off an email or a Facebook message.
“I’m not a phone person,” I would always proclaim to my mom again and again each time she called.
I know the phone was my mom’s favourite way to keep in touch with friends and family, especially these past few years when she wasn’t traveling much anymore.
Whenever she called, she would put the speaker phone on so my dad could also listen and comment.
I would hear them enjoying their day in their favourite sunroom with the background din of the fountain trickling out on the deck or the rain pounding on the roof. Sometimes I’d hear the crows cawing as they demanded some leftovers. Bigfoot would always be meowing to be let out or let in, always on the wrong side of every door as T.S. Eliot would say. Mykie would purr loudly at the sound of my voice.
I know the phone calls were a way to share some time with me and make it feel like we were in the same room together instead of being 1,000 miles apart. Now I share a daily phone call with my dad to make sure he’s okay and share our grief together as we navigate our new reality without my mom.
Last Monday was the last phone call I’ll ever get from my mom and sadly she didn’t even get a chance to talk before she died. It was devastating and yet as my wise friend Kay said, it was a gift to know I was in her thoughts just then and to be with her as she left this Earth.
I am sorry I told her I wasn’t a phone person as I’d give anything to have one of her phone calls now. I will miss them.